What brings you happiness⁉️😁Achieving goals, acting, genuine energy, helping people, being in love, retail therapy, climbing trees, being w/ animals, & traveling the world are some things that make me happy. @prettylittlething ⛅️
#5monthspostpartum. I put on a brave face. I'm very transparent with my experiences. But the reality is; I have my bad days too. .
I miss the person I once was. The bright eyes. The energy. The mental capacity. The strength. The confidence. I'm lost now. Lost in this journey of motherhood.
Constantly tired. Nightmares everynight. Struggling to sleep. I hate being alone. Can't stand it. I have no direction. No motivation. I feel I'm not good enough. My supply has decreased. I'm struggling to keep up; mentally, emotionally, physically. My relationship is suffering from my mental state. I snap. I'm grumpy. I'm tired. I have no patience at all. My company is not enjoyable, I'm aware and slowly resenting myself for it. .
The very damaging and frightening part of postpartum is the lack of perspective and the lack of priority and understanding of what is really important. I put all this pressure on myself. I feel I should be losing more weight then I am. My self care has gone out the window. I feel I should have more patience. I should be producing more milk then what I am. I should be better. .
So I guess my point is at the end of the day, it's ok to cry. To feel down. To feel inadequate. We are not perfect. I'm fighting demons in order to become a better person. A happier person. I want the old me back. Just because I'm a mum now is not an excuse. I want my old relationship back. I want Seaura to be surrounded and bought up with unconditonal love, support and happiness. I just want to be my best self. I want to love myself again.